Ahhhggghhh, don’t be sorry for asking. It is what it is. None of us are in our positions healthwise by choice, but the fact is here we are. I was working with people with disabilities, people in a way worse situation than mine, I knew I had my limitations but there was no way I was just giving up. So I ignored symptoms, minimised their impact and pushed on through, that was until my body pushed back. I still did not consider myself ‘disabled’, my clients, now they were disabled, not me. It wasn’t so much a conscience decision on my behalf to cease work but more others around me saying “Stop, enough is enough”. I had to show the insurer that I hadn’t just given up, which wasn’t hard to prove as my employer could prove it with documentation. Even the insurer’s medical assessor had no problem in approving my application. In fact it was the insurer’s medical assessor’s report that got me approved for Social Security Disability.
Something I had a HUGE problem with was my own ‘acceptance’, I DID NOT want to accept THIS. HELL NO, and I fought against it and I fought HARD. But eventually, push as I may, the reality was right there in front of me. It was my body that was giving up and the more I pushed the worse my symptoms became, my body was pushing back. And I do still kick myself for doing that because if I’d listened to my body previously maybe pushing wouldn’t have made things as bad as they are today. But going over all of those ‘what if’s’ ie “…what if I hadn’t done ‘X’, what if I hadn’t done ‘Y’ would things be better today…” can simply drive me crazy (OK, so more crazy lol). Over time, and I’m talking years, I have come to a level of acceptance now, I say ‘a level’ because some days I still push my limits but this only reinforces my predicament as the following day I’m in agony. GGrrrrrrrr
I completely agree with the information that you’ve been provided with here from all of the other contributors. Don’t quit, Get a 2nd opinion, check your insurance and plan an exit strategy, these are all very sound pieces of advice. But to go along with that I’d say ‘DO NOT be pushing yourself further than you should. You’ll only pay for it in the long run’ Well, I did anyway.
Merl from the Moderator Support Team